Sun burns

Yesterday I had a bit of a brake down, and I cried for a bit. Aria (my spouse) tends to be very dismissive when I’m feeling bad but me crying makes her surprisingly sympathetic. Lots of little things from work were bugging me a lot ; hunger, pulled muscles, blisters on my hands and feet, the worst was my sunburned nose. I’m out in the sun for ten hours a day and my poor nose is now covered in spots and really red. It makes it really hard to make my face look right with out a lot of makeup. I had missed a bad line of makeup along my jaw and it was the last straw.

But she showed some concern over me feeling bad! She let me cry on her shoulder and only made two jokes. Progress!

Well I may be loosing my anal virginity tomorrow ^_^

So going to go meet my internet boyfriend in real life tomorrow! And knowing us there’s a 90% chance sex happens. Which would be the first time I’ve ever been with a guy.

I never set out to only be with one woman ever but things some how ended up that way. And while I know this is likely a really bad idea, I can’t stand the idea of getting old and never having been a bottom or touched a real penis (besides my own).

Uhhhg why does this have to be so difficult!

Why did I get married to the first person I ever dated!

I’m excited and terrified and hoping for who knows what!

I’m afraid I’ll like it and I’m afraid I won’t!

There’s is no good way to be bi >_